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Baby brain jello
My Thanksgiving was great. Here's why:
a) I didn't buy a single thing.
b) I suck at Scrabble.
c) My baby cousin is gonna be in so much trouble.
a) I didn't buy a single thing. Black Friday sucks. People act like animals and will step on your face to get to an egg cup if it's on sale.
b) I suck at Scrabble. My uncle is a lawyer and every Thanksgiving he challenges us to a game of Scrabble, a tradition that he started with his mom. Being old, articulate and well seasoned in the Scrabble tricks, he usually beats us by 50 pts at least. Every year he expresses disappointment if we aren't a worthy enough challenge.
This year, I embraced my craptitude at Scrabble and put down words such as 'can', 'it' and 'our' without regret. I also challenged his use of the word 'bi' as it is derogatory slang, an abbreviation, or a prefix and is not in the dictionary.com. However, he found it in the scrabbledictionary.com. Total BS, if it's not in the OED, it doesn't exist.
c) My baby cousin is gonna be in so much trouble. This scrabble-loving uncle just had a baby to complete his set of two kids he's already got. The eldest is 10 years old, the younger is 5. When this lovely family arrives, my 10-year-old cousin walks in the front door with my newborn cousin hefted over his shoulder.
My eyes get all crazy and I say,"Give me the baby."
Whining, he says, "He's my brother. I know how to hold him."
He gives the baby kisses on the face, not the cheek.
The baby's head is not supported and I'm afraid of it lolling to one side.
I firmly grasp the baby and pry my cousin's hands off him.
Good lord, poor thing is going to grow up to be brain joggled.
a) I didn't buy a single thing.
b) I suck at Scrabble.
c) My baby cousin is gonna be in so much trouble.
a) I didn't buy a single thing. Black Friday sucks. People act like animals and will step on your face to get to an egg cup if it's on sale.
b) I suck at Scrabble. My uncle is a lawyer and every Thanksgiving he challenges us to a game of Scrabble, a tradition that he started with his mom. Being old, articulate and well seasoned in the Scrabble tricks, he usually beats us by 50 pts at least. Every year he expresses disappointment if we aren't a worthy enough challenge.
This year, I embraced my craptitude at Scrabble and put down words such as 'can', 'it' and 'our' without regret. I also challenged his use of the word 'bi' as it is derogatory slang, an abbreviation, or a prefix and is not in the dictionary.com. However, he found it in the scrabbledictionary.com. Total BS, if it's not in the OED, it doesn't exist.
c) My baby cousin is gonna be in so much trouble. This scrabble-loving uncle just had a baby to complete his set of two kids he's already got. The eldest is 10 years old, the younger is 5. When this lovely family arrives, my 10-year-old cousin walks in the front door with my newborn cousin hefted over his shoulder.
My eyes get all crazy and I say,"Give me the baby."
Whining, he says, "He's my brother. I know how to hold him."
He gives the baby kisses on the face, not the cheek.
The baby's head is not supported and I'm afraid of it lolling to one side.
I firmly grasp the baby and pry my cousin's hands off him.
Good lord, poor thing is going to grow up to be brain joggled.
I will end you....uuur car.
I biked to work this morning. I inched into the pedestrian walk to cross the street and lane after lane slowed to a stop...except the last lane where a blond woman in a gray car sped up to try and beat me.
I almost got hit by a car today and when I say almost, I don't mean someone kinda, sorta almost hit me. I mean my rubber tire bounced off her side door and I was braking so hard that I arched over her car.
And so, if I find a blond woman in a gray car with a black rubber tire mark on the driver side door, this is what I'll do to it:
I almost got hit by a car today and when I say almost, I don't mean someone kinda, sorta almost hit me. I mean my rubber tire bounced off her side door and I was braking so hard that I arched over her car.
And so, if I find a blond woman in a gray car with a black rubber tire mark on the driver side door, this is what I'll do to it:
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